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Limerick
to Schedule Case
There once was a case set for trial,
Again and again for awhile,
Tho ready to go,
The system was slow,
Five delays from the court it compiled.
The first time the case was not reached,
I stood up and I made a speech,
Said it only was June,
And still far too soon,
To give up and go to the beach.
We hoped to be tried in July,
Which did not seem pie in the sky,
But the case has no sex,
Nor is it complex,
So the judges kept passing it by.
I scheduled the case for September,
Came October and then came November,
One time we came close,
But we ended morose,
Cause we did not get reached nor remembered.
Plaintiff's a dialysis center,
With my client the plaintiff did enter
A contract in dispute,
About whether its mute,
If the water is paid by the renter.
My client finds it a hard pill,
That despite my incredible skill,
That he is upset,
Cause I cannot get,
The other side to pay the bill.
A trial date I'd like set in stone,
So I've written to you on my own,
I'm pleading in verse,
Since I can't do no worse,
Then I've done up to now on the phone.
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Thank
You Limerick
Thank you for scheduling the trial,
Which had sat and languished awhile,
With the trial date in ink,
The other side blinked,
And moved their offer a mile.
On the back burner the case it did sit,
The parties would not move a bit,
Till their feet touched the kettle,
The case wouldn't settle,
To quote Henry Higgins, "you did it".
My client is now aglow,
In the future he'll have far more dough,
I'm always amazed,
How a trial date will raise,
An offer which once was so low.
I was fully prepared to begin,
I'd worked hard so that we would win,
If you could have listened,
My opening glistened,
Now we'll never know what would have been.
It's time to pick up my quill,
Draft a contract or maybe a will,
While I'd rather write rhymes,
It takes up my time,
And for poems my partners won't bill.
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Congratulations
Limerick
There once was a man named Bob Sedrick
[Note: names have been changed]
Who was young, dressed quite well and looked real slick
So he went into sales
Let his company pay meals
Played golf, drove around and called in sick.
Bob faced considerable strife
Stuck in Buffalo, New York with his wife
Armour offered him frills
To abandon the Bills
And Bob jumped for the change in his life.
In virtually no time at all
Armour received the first of their calls
From important buyers
Not known to be liars
Complaining of Robert’s gall.
The complaints they kept coming in
More and more of them filled up a bin
Armour’s Manager was tired
So Sedrick was fired
As he had done wrong and had sinned.
Believe it or not Bob sued Armour
Said his wife had gone crazy, they'd harmed her
Claimed living in Boston
Had increased his cost on
His mortgage when taxes were tossed on.
Armour hired attorney Mark Engel
Who with Steve Schultz thought up a good angle
For trying the case
For avoiding waste
And to keep people calm and not rankled.
As always, justice prevails
Despite Bob’s bluster, his rants and his rails
He eventually gave in
Settled up for a pin
Letting Armour again think of sales.
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