There once was a man named Bob Sedrick
[Note: names have been changed]
Who was young, dressed quite well and looked real slick
So he went into sales
Let his company pay meals
Played golf, drove around and called in sick.

Bob faced considerable strife
Stuck in Buffalo, New York with his wife
Armour offered him frills
To abandon the Bills
And Bob jumped for the change in his life.

In virtually no time at all
Armour received the first of their calls
From important buyers
Not known to be liars
Complaining of Robert’s gall.

The complaints they kept coming in
More and more of them filled up a bin
Armour’s Manager was tired
So Sedrick was fired
As he had done wrong and had sinned.

Believe it or not Bob sued Armour
Said his wife had gone crazy, they’d harmed her
Claimed living in Boston
Had increased his cost on
His mortgage when taxes were tossed on.

Armour hired attorney Mark Engel
Who with Steve Schultz thought up a good angle
For trying the case
For avoiding waste
And to keep people calm and not rankled.

As always, justice prevails
Despite Bob’s bluster, his rants and his rails
He eventually gave in
Settled up for a pin
Letting Armour again think of sales.